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Depression Causes And Risk Factors

Depression is not only occurring by a single reason, there are several things which cause depression. Depression is nothing but just only a state of mind. It is related to some sort of physical changes in the brain.

Some causes of depressions are as follows:

The physical status: Various serious medical conditions such as cancer, heart disease, and HIV can lead to depression. Depression medical conditions may be worse as it can make immune system very weak and pain can be difficult to bear. Depression can be caused by drugs which people takes for the treatment of diseases.

Any shock & stress: Such as end of any relationship, any financial problems or may be death of a loved one. Changes in your personal life can make you depressed.

Pessimistic personality: Negative view outlook towards life are subjected to a very high risk of being depressed.

History of the Family: Genetics may also be a reason of depression. It can be used in families for many generations.

Other disorders: Anxiety, eating disorders and drug abuse can also cause depression.

Visit the original post at: Depression Help

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The Real Key to a Healthy Life

by Pick the Brain

“Have you watched TV programs like Downsize Me? I really enjoy watching this! People who lead unhealthy lifestyles are given a ‘lifestyle makeover.’ They usually end up losing weight and finding more happiness by the end of the show. Obviously they do make great strides over the two months they are being followed by the cameras, but I often wonder how many of these people go back to their old unhealthy ways once the TV cameras have left…”

…click to read more

Mental Health Best of the Web

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Teaching our Children to Think Positively
I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day! My weekend getaway went extremely well. I think that all the preparing that I did really helped because my anxiety wasn’t an issue at all while I was away. I was able to get up and eat meals and socialize just fine. Until surprisingly the long drive home. I was thinking about how well I did and was feeling proud of myself when the thought entered my mind,

“What if I get home and the anxiety returns?“

and wouldn’t you know it, instant panic set in. My arms were burning, my stomach churning. I kept telling myself that I was ok and that everything would be fine, but I couldn’t get the symptoms to go away or calm myself down. Eventually I ended up taking a little clonazepam to take the edge off and that helped.

Its so touch and go that it can be frustrating at times. A scenario that will most of the time be really difficult will be absolutely fine and then another scenario where I am usually fine will all of a sudden be really difficult.

Mornings are still an issue right now. I still wake up with anxiety, not every day but sometimes, and so I have been taking the mornings easy. I have been nervous about eating breakfasts since my stomach is all yucky from the anxiety. So I have been munching on saltines the last few days for breakfast so that I am at least eating something. I have been doing yoga every other day and the more I do it the more my body craves it. It really helps to shake off any lingering anxiety in the morning and to feel good about the day.

To help me not get overwhelmed with everything on my plate, my mantra has been “Do What You Can, When You Can.” Whenever I start to worry about something not getting done I say that to myself a couple of times. It helps me to remember that I am doing the best I can and if I don’t get to something today thats ok, I can get to it later.

I’ve been thinking about how much my anxiety revolves around the negative thoughts in my head and it makes me wonder how long I have been doing that for and if it was something I picked up from those around me growing up or if its just how I am. It makes me think about when raising my kids how I want them to be happy, confident, and positive in their thinking so they don’t have these same problems. How do I teach that and not let them feed off my poor example? I know I can praise them a lot to raise their self esteem, but how do I teach them to not think badly of themselves or to care what others think? I found a really great article on the subject here:

“The power of our thoughts has been recognized for centuries. For better or worse, out thoughts determine who we become and what we manifest during our earthly stay. Helping our children to understand this truth adds awareness and intention to the power they already possess as thinking beings.

How can you help your child grow up knowing the power of thought, and especially the power of positive thought? Some ideas follow:

• Keep your thoughts and words gentle, be deliberately positive.
• Speak kindly of all family members and friends.
• Approach your work with enthusiasm. Curtail complaining in favor of problem-solving.
• Speak the language of hope and affirmation. Say “I will” and “I can” often!
• Smile a lot! Laugh at yourself and allow others to laugh with you.
• Inspire positive regard for people who may be different in one way or another. Find value in everyone you meet.
• Let your child know how wonderful they are. Often!
• Frame correction in positive terms. “Chairs are for sitting” rather than “Don’t stand up in that chair.”
• Use courtesy in your interchange with others. Be an example of respect and sincerity.

Preschool

Babies come into the world with no worry, doubt or lack of self-esteem. Preserving the “clean slate” is impossible, as babies are about the business of perceiving, making connections and deriving meaning from the events and relationships around them.

Handling babies and young children gently, helping them feel secure in your care is a good starting place. Singing and speaking in soft positive tones soothes even the most ruffled baby. Letting them know they are valued will be the foundation for positive self-esteem.

As your child grows, have faith in their ability to learn and perform challenging things. “You can do it!” goes a long way. There is no need to push. Encourage while respecting developmental readiness.

Preschoolers need to be prepared to deal with many kinds of children when they go to school. Play experiences will hopefully include playtime with kids of diverse backgrounds, abilities, and ethnicities.

Main points to address:

• Babies learn to be positive or negative from the big people they grow up with.
• Being handled with respect and gentleness will set the foundation for positive self-image.
• Have confidence in your toddler’s ability to do challenging things.
• Help your preschooler appreciate diversity.

Grades K-3rd

Young school age children can experience “culture shock” upon entering school. They may encounter children who may have been abused, who handle things and people roughly and who have not been respected or cared for. They will need help understanding why some people are “nice” and others seem “mean”. Encourage them to stay positive and view others with compassion.

In the meantime, live positive! Have a gratitude break once or twice a week. Let each family member tell what they are grateful for at the dinner table. Practice finding the “silver lining” when things don’t go well. Don’t deny how awful an event might have been. Just help them find a different perspective to view things from.

Encourage positive self-talk by referring to yourself and others in positive ways. Teach your child to use positive affirmations to bolster confidence. Perhaps before an important game they could repeat for several minutes: “I am strong and fast. I am ready for this game.” Or after feeling left out on the playground, “I am loved. I have lots of good friends.”

Main points to address:

• Encourage your child to stay positive and compassionate even when others are not.
• Let them know they always have a choice how they use their power and the energy of their thoughts.

Grades 4-6th

Older school age kids are learning what they are good at and what they are not as good at. This can be a time when children compare themselves with others. Helping your child to view themselves as unique and special will curb their tendency to put themselves down.

Listen to their self-doubts and fears without minimizing the issues. Then help your child look at things from a different angle. Using empathy will help your child be compassionate with themselves.

Reminding your child that he or she is not “done yet” will set them free to see their development as a process that sometimes feels like three steps forward and one step back. This will help them bounce back from disappointments more easily. Praise them for not giving up.

Children can tend to become perfectionist at this stage. Appreciating where your child is in their development will help them accept themselves and view their life experience positively. Convey the truth that everyone makes mistakes and misjudgments while they are learning. Tell them learning never really ends by showing them ways you are still learning.

You can begin to make the connection between positive thoughts, positive words and positive outcomes. It will be empowering for your child to learn that they are in control of their thought-life and that a positive lifestyle is a choice they can embrace. Your 9-12 year old is ready to understand that: “As a man (or woman or child!) thinketh, so is he (or she).”

Main points to address:

• Encourage your child to see themselves as a unique individual with talents, skills and personal power.
• Use empathy when listening to their fears and doubts.
• Help your child view life as a process- better yet- an adventure!
• Make the connection between positive thought, positive words, positive actions and positive outcome. Thoughts are powerful!

Resources
Resources that can help you in your venture include:

• Fishful Thinking: Positive thinking for kids - http://fishfulthinking.com/whatisfishful/
• Mind Power for Kids: Positive affirmations - http://www.mindpowerforchildren.com/affirm.htm
• StorkNet: Teaching kids productive thinking - http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/parenting/productivethinking.htm

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Dreams

by the Bitter Animator at
My Medicated Cartoon Life

“This is something that has been on and off for quite some time. I think I may have even
blogged about it at some point but I’ve long forgotten. I probably meant to but didn’t.

At some point, it’s time to give up.

I’m right, aren’t I?…”

…click to read more

Mental Health Best of the Web

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Why Women are More Depressed???

Depression and women are closely related to each other. It slows down the societal, special and practiced life of women. Women suffer from depression twice as compared to men. These depressions are a great risk to the mental health, especially among young women. The reason behind this is that women are usually more emotional than men.

Symptoms

There are numerous symptoms which show whether a woman is under depression or not. When depressed, she does not find any interest in activities she enjoyed earlier. She starts blaming herself for everything and can also have suicidal tendencies. Depression is usually accompanied with disturbed sleep, change in diet, low concentration and difficulty decision making.

Causes of depression

1.    Biological causes include the problem of premenstrual problem such as itchiness, swelling, weakness, etc. which disturbs their lives. Problem of pregnancy, issues like: unwanted pregnancy or miscarriage can lead to depression.

2.    Social causes include the problem of playing different roles at same time, lack of status and power in society, dissatisfaction in relationships.

3.    Women suffering from medical illness, unable to fulfill her physical needs can result in depression. Any kind of financial crises, imbalance in relationships leads to depressive disorder.

Treatments available

Various treatments are available for depressions, which include Antidepressant medications, Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), Psychotherapy. Women should consult a doctor about their depression. Birth control medicines and hormone exchange therapy are also very effective in solving your biological problems.

Interpersonal therapy is really effective in improving personal relationship. Women suffering from depression must try to be practical. Don’t let negative thoughts come to the mind. Make sure you exercise regularly as exercise is the best medicine for your depression. Taking regular well balanced nutritious diet also helps in lowering down the depression level.

Visit the original post at: Depression Help

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Tips for Traveling with Anxiety- Trip # 4
If you have read the blog for awhile, you know that I get extremely anxious about traveling. I didn’t use to be this way but after a few trips where I was panic stricken the whole time I have developed anticipatory anxiety about vacations. How sad, I know, since vacations are supposed to be a relaxing getaway.

This Memorial Day Weekend we have a cousins reunion in St. George which is about 3-4 hours away from home. I know that I shouldn’t be anxious about the trip but it has really been stressing me out. We will be gone for about two days. We have never been away from home with the baby for that long.

So learning from my previous setbacks, I know that success will greatly increase for me if I properly prepare ahead of time. Preparing means following my 10 step Mental Exercise, but here is a shorter version:

1. Writing out all of my fears no matter how silly or absurd they may sound.
2. Writing out a gameplan for what will happen in the worst case scenario.
3. Writing out positive affirmations to counter my fears.
4. Print out the post and keep it in my wallet where I can access it whenever I need to. I plan to pull it out every morning and reread it for reinforcement.

This worked well for me on my last trip to Vegas so I hope it will work again.

Ok so here goes:

What am I telling myself to make me feel this way?

• What if I am anxious the whole time? I will ruin the trip for Tyler and all the cousins and my aunt will think I am weird.
• Trips make me anxious. I should be nervous about this trip.
• What if I can’t eat anything and I offend the cook?
• What if people want to go do something and I am feeling too sick?
• What if the baby has a hard time on the car ride down or sleeping and she is miserable?

As I am writing these out I am noticing that most of them are “What if” statements which is the type of negative self talk that promotes anxiety, especially anticipatory anxiety. This type of self talk is the one that plagues me the most. Edmund J. Bourne says,

“…the Worrier’s dominant tendencies include 1) anticipating the worst, 2) overestimating the odds of something bad or embarrassing happening, and 3) creating grandiose images of potential failure or catastrophe. The Worrier is always vigilant, watching with uneasy apprehension for any small symptoms or signs of trouble.”

He also says the best coping strategy for dealing with the Worrier is by writing out positive coping statements.

• What if I am anxious the whole time? I will ruin the trip for Tyler and all the cousins and my aunt will think I am weird.

Circumstances are what they are but I can choose my attitude toward them. I can be anxious and still have fun on this trip. I’ve done it before and I can do it again. I can handle this. Tyler loves me more than this trip. I love and accept myself the way I am. I respect and believe in myself apart from other’s opinions.

• Trips make me anxious. I should be nervous about this trip.

This is overgeneralizing. Just because I have been anxious on trips in the past that doesn’t set in stone that I will be anxious on this trip. I am learning to be calm. I’m responsible and in control of my life.

• What if I can’t eat anything and I offend the cook?

If I explain to the cook that I have not been feeling well and I don’t have an appetite they will most likely understand. And if they don’t, so what! I only have to eat for myself. It’s important to take care of my own needs. I respect and believe in myself apart from others’ opinions.

• What if people want to go do something and I am feeling too sick?

If I am not feeling well be honest and they will most likely understand. And if they don’t, so what! You are here to have fun and not to please everyone else. Do what you want to do. It’s important to take care of my own needs. Its ok to make time to rest and relax. I am willing to go forward with my life and try to better myself regardless of what others think.

• What if the baby has a hard time on the car ride down or sleeping and she is miserable?

If she is really struggling we can always come home. We can take rest stops and get her out and play.

What if the worst case scenario happened?

If the worst case scenario happened and I was severly anxious, I could take deep breaths and if needed, a clonazepam to help take the worst of it away. If I am still really anxious I could leave the room, collect my thoughts by reading my positive affirmations and taking deep breaths, and return when I feel better. If it won’t go away and I am miserable, we could always come home.

Preparing like this may seem time consuming but for me, just knowing that I have a plan in place helps to subside those what if feelings because now I know what I will do if it happens.

We are leaving tonight or in the morning. I will let you know how it goes!

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What to Do When Feeling Overwhelmed

photo by Cheo70

The last few days have been a turning point for me. I still have the morning anxiety but I am doing ok with shaking it off and getting on with my day. I’ve been reflecting a lot on this past set back and why it happened. It really was the perfect storm of my hormones out of control, too many stressors popping up, new changes in my life, and feeling overwhelmed.

The feeling overwhelmed part I could feel for awhile. I was even telling people around me that I was needing a better balance in my life, more control over what was going on. I like routine and when things get shaken up, I have a hard time adapting. So I did some research and found a really cool blog post at inmyheels.com about Overcoming Being Overwhelmed:

“Somehow, I’ve cornered myself into feeling so overwhelmed that I began to stop - nearly everything. You’ve heard of the paralysis of analysis, have you not? You know, when you analyze SO much that you become afraid to move for whatever reason? Enter me, a twenty-something gal with lots of somethings on her mind. There are so many things that I wanted to take charge of and knowing that it’s a frame of mind, I decided to tackle it all. Except I didn’t know where to start. I could see the very big picture - think Google Earth of my dream world - however I couldn’t focus.

Then, the sad state of the What Ifs grew to what felt like astronomical heights. I couldn’t even bring myself to write. How frustrating - particularly because I have always found writing to be such a release!

Lucky for me, a caring Life Coach listened intently to my crisis and helped bring me back to Earth. And what’s the good of dishing advice if one can’t take a dose for herself? Turns out that no matter how many self improvement books you dedicate yourself to reading, the profound change that you seek in those books all start by taking one step at a time. Know that I am one of those who will nod “Yeah, yeah but what’s the REAL secret” to such age-old advice until I have my epiphany It DOES all start with one step and they are each quite significant; even when you think they are too small to matter.

The Big Picture

Perhaps it’s just my very nature but oh how I delight in the broad strokes and bright colors of possibilities that all contribute to The Big Picture. You know, that big goal..that dream of yours. When you realize that you have an actual shot at attainment, it’s quite exciting! It’s important to be able to be able to step back and take a look at what you’re aiming for. It inspires a direction for you to head towards. But here’s the thing. While you want to keep this picture close, you want to do more than just enjoy the view. While seeing what you want is critical, it is not the only step. After all, “I want a dream body” will not grant you abs of steel by just dreaming about it every waking moment. It grants you the inspiration you need to begin the actual work.

I found myself stuck at The Big Picture and I told Tim so. I was unbelievably overwhelmed by what I saw in The Big Picture in comparison to my current state in life. In my honest opinion, the difference was dismal. But Tim didn’t see it that way.

Perhaps the man is gifted with positive perspective (which is great, him being a Life Coach and all) because by the time our hour would be over, I would feel like my current state wasn’t as bad as I pictured it to be. The monster of a mountain that is my Big Picture wasn’t smooth and impossible to climb. Rather, looking closer, it was something I could definitely climb - I just needed to accept that I wouldn’t be at the top of it the minute I approached it. So much for that microwave-society, instant gratification thinking!

So my next question to Tim was something to the effect of “How do I start moving forward?”

Whodunnit: Learning How By Watching What Others Have Done

This piece of advice is one of my favorites and it might have a lot to do with my love of a good plan. Tim suggested that I read about the people I admired or aspired to be like. I already find people’s lives quite interesting. The funny thing about life is there is no cookie-cutter way to live it. Things happen - good AND bad but one cornerstone of the successful would be their intent on ‘making it work’ anyway. And if you think about it, you’ll see. Life can either just happen to you, or you can do your very best to play the hand you’ve been dealt. By reading about those I aspire to be like, not only do I get to witness the unique dealings of THEIR struggles, I can skip some of the hard knock lessons by learning from steps already taken in someone else’s heels. It’s a real advantage when you have serious intent on getting somewhere. Learn from others and utilize the wisdom harvested over time to spare yourself some grief and gain an idea of what to do. Every little bit counts!

Breaking It Down. Way Down.

This tip has got to be the golden turnkey that I desperately needed. I had been doing things that are comparable to walking in to a gym for the first time in your life and taking a hold of 350 lbs with every intent of hoisting it upon your back for squats. You can have every bit of determination and pure positive thinking on your side but to be effective, you need to be capable. If you are not yet capable, you can become so however you must take the steps to become so.

It is easy to be overwhelmed when you can’t see HOW it is you’re supposed to accomplish something. The stress and anxiety that comes from comparing yourself to people who seem to have it together can’t possibly help. Now throw in the auto-pilot self depreciating commentary that goes on in your mind and you have yourself a way to become stuck in life.

Breaking down a big task into smaller tasks that you are able to complete is how you get the big task done. Logically speaking, you might know this. But when you’re busy being overwhelmed, it’s super easy to forget. I wish I had a You-Tube visual of the relief that seeped in as Tim explained this to me. I was feeling like all of my small tasks were insignificant and couldn’t possibly be chipping away at my goals. Tim helped me experience the contrary by way of conversation and visualization. He told me to read this piece he wrote on his blog which perfectly summarized the need to chunk down to get things done.

Consistency - Keeping Your Eyes On the Prize

Ah. For me, this is the hard part. The magic is in the consistency. When doubt starts to creep its way back in to put a big foot in your plan, it may help to go back to your Big Picture and remind yourself where all those little tasks you are completing will ultimately take you.

Have faith in your actions towards success and don’t allow inconsistency to undermine your efforts. The stop and start again can wear on you and it can make starting again that much harder to initiate on your own. That being said, Tim pointed out something that was very important for me to keep in mind. When bad days happen and you miss a step, it isn’t catastrophic. It is not “all ruined” as I so aptly put it. You can strive for excellence and have moments that are less than perfect. The key is to not get stuck at that point - get back to it as soon as you can.

Don’t allow pristine ideas of perfection dwarf progress instead of improve it. It’s the consistent nature over time that will give you what you seek.

Meditate - The Ultimate Time Out

Last but not least, Tim suggested that I reap the benefits that come from regular meditation. My stress levels that came from NOT doing what I wanted to do (which only brought more of what I didn’t want) skyrocketed. I was constantly upset with myself and I needed some clarity. I had to laugh when Tim added that there is no ‘perfect’ way to meditate. I laughed because I had stopped meditating simply because I thought I was doing it completely wrong! I would still my mind only to get distracted by my endless to-do list that magically formed in my thoughts. I was also surprised to hear that many people did the same exact thing (One of the most awesome things I have found in speaking to a Life Coach is actual confirmation that I am not alone in my struggles. Other people experience and overcome the same things!)

I have to say - I felt like I was getting my life back when I realized that my being stuck and overwhelmed was a matter of perspective. Perhaps my crisis is a growing pain (gotta love those). The playing field widens as I grow up and want different things. I am incredibly blessed that the journey InMyHeels is not a lone one - even when it might feel that way. This blog has brought me in touch with a Life Coach at *just* the right time for exactly what I needed. It has also enriched my life with wonderful readers and caring friends who keep an eye on the steps InMyHeels takes forward.

Take this is a (( virtual hug )) to you, the reader who relates or knows where I coming from.

Being overwhelmed can be overcome. This post in itself is actual proof of such things. It is my hope that my experience and help from Tim helps you see that you can do it too.”

So I need to take the big picture- my daily routine- and break it down into achievable chunks. Instead of worrying about the baby, work, housework, exercise, family time, church, etc. everyday, I need to break it into some sort of schedule where maybe I just focus on church stuff on Sundays, laundry on Mondays, Yoga on Tuesdays, etc.

I know now the importance of keeping that balance in check and what can happen if I neglect the warnings.

Thanks for everyone’s well wishes and words of encouragement this past week. I have such a great support group both online and at home with my family. It makes such a difference and I am very grateful.

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Manic Depression: Symptoms and Cures

This problem is associated with strange and rapid change from a good mood to a bitter mood. It is just another form of depression. Manic depression is not just being sad or upset over something in particular. This problem is more severe than that. Manic depression is diagnosed in millions of cases each year in America.

Regrettably, only about 1/3 of these patients are been diagnosed and they receive help. If the victim goes for help, then anything can be healed. Many people are uncertain to tackle a disease that is categorized as a mental illness. Brain diseases are generally quite complex. When diagnosed there is a stigma that is not easy to handle. It does not mean that you are a nut case. It means you have a sickness like any other person. If the problem is recognized, it can be cured.

The reasons behind depression are still being scrutinized in the medicinal career. Doctors consider many things like: genetic factors, atmosphere, and DNA. Stress is the foremost factor that causes depression. Academic issues, personal issues, or the everyday mince can lead to depression. This disease is not biased between a rich or a poor person.

Symptoms for each and every type of depression are similar. Severe and sudden changes in the character, personality and mood of a person depict the symptoms of this problem. The beginning of insomnia i.e. lack of sleep, helplessness also signifies depression. Enormous help is always available for the patients. Medications and natural herbs can cure this problem. Even the ‘talk therapy’ can be of great help to cure manic depression.

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Separating the Illness and the Person

I read a Psych Central post a few days ago “Hating the Illness Not the Afflicted”. The context was alcoholism but it struck a chord with me.

It took me years to learn a valuable secret for coping as a carer. I  wish someone had let me in on it earlier - it would have saved hours of frustration, bitterness and resentment. I would have seen myself as a wife and not just a carer for a lot of this time.

The secret is simple to understand but hard to live out - you have to separate the illness from the person.

Why simple? When James is being totally unreasonable and horrible, I pause for breath and think about the big picture. Is he sick? Is he like this when he is well? Is this consistent with his true character? Is this the man who I married? Asking these questions helps me to see what is really going on.

It’s hard. When he is irritable he is very hurtful. I want to take the bait and yell back - to let my anger fly and exact my revenge. It’s difficult to let things go through to the keeper, ignore his needling and concentrate on the sickness. It’s hard to forgive and move on when I’m hurt.

And it’s hard to not take it personally. It’s hard to overlook the way that our lives have changed to accommodate his illness. It’s hard to think that bipolar will never go away.

But it’s also simple. I direct my anger at the illness and that leaves me free to love him and build our relationship. It’s simple to forgive when I know that he doesn’t act this way when he is well. It’s simple when I remember that James is a person with bipolar, he is not Bipolar itself.

Separating the illness and the person. That has been my secret to being a carer and a wife and managing well.

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Much Needed Success
So far today is a better day. I woke up feeling extremely anxious, heart pounding, mind racing, etc. I just laid in bed for a few minutes and took some deep breaths. I told myself some positive affirmations such as “This may be hard today, but I can handle it. I can do it!” and “I can accept these feelings and let my body do its thing. I know it will eventually pass.” So then I got out of bed and waited to throw up. Everyday I have been throwing up so I have been waiting to take my medication until after I think I can keep it down. But I never had to this morning. I was also able to go out and distract myself enough with other things that I could shake off the anxiety a bit. Enough to where I didn’t feel the need to take a Clonazepam. So I took my Zoloft and have been going on with my day.

Successes:
1. Didn’t throw up this morning
2. Didn’t have to take Clonazepam
3. Was able to ignore the anxiety enough to do what I needed to do
4. Took a shower and got dressed

I have been feeling pretty good about all of these great little successes. Then my hubby gets home and he has a bag of Wendy’s. He brought me lunch. He wants to go to Walmart to go grocery shopping and then out to a movie tonight. All of this sounds fine and dandy and I have no reason to be anxious about those things, but as he starts talking about it I start to feel the anxiety levels rising. So finally I told him that even though I have had a good morning, I was feeling kind of rushed and I want to take it slower.

He needs to get out of the house and I can understand that. If there is anything positive that has come out of this last week of hell, its been our communication and our relationship. I have needed him so much and he has learned so much about me and even without the anxiety we are going through some stressful times and so its been so nice just to have each other for love and support.

Part of me is feeling rushed and just wants to relax at home. Another part of me is so worried about becoming severely agoraphobic that I feel guilty about wanting to stay home.

Also, I have hardly been eating anything because of the nausea and the lack of appetite. I don’t know how much of it is contributed to the side effects of the meds and how much is my own issues, but I know I will be losing weight and I am trying not to dwell on it or feel guilty that I am only nibbling these days. I’ve been mostly drinking Ensure’s and Gatorades and then nibbling on crackers or crazy small portions of a meal. I figure if I keep listening to my body, eventually I will be ok.

Something that has really been bothering me lately is this term “nervous breakdown”. I saw an advertisement with that phrase and I thought, “Did I just have a nervous breakdown this week? Am I one of those people that if this happened in the 50’s would be institutionalized? Am I crazy?” I keep thinking “I am the crazy one who has the nervous breakdowns.” Or others are thinking “She is fragile right now, she just had a nervous breakdown.” And I really don’t like that label. It really really is bothering me. On Wikipedia it says recent surveys have found that as many as 18% of Americans may be affected by one or more anxiety disorders. The Census Bureau currently lists 306,434,870 people living in the United States. That means that in the United States approximately 55,158,276 people are suffering from some form of anxiety disorder(s). 55 million people are a heck of a lot of people! Just another reminder that I am not alone.

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